"Are You Ready, Are You Excited?"

These are the two questions I've heard repeatedly for the last 2 weeks and up until now they have just made me want to scream, "NO, I have a list of about 1400 things that still need to be done and right now I'm just exhausted and daunted."   Somehow in the last 36 hours I've actually started to realax.  I know part of it is because I've had awesome help from friends.  I can't tell if we are through the storm or if we are just in the eye.  My loving husband to be has become a full fledged and embraced the fact that he is a groomzilla.

 So in between creating detailed notes for our posse so they know what they are doing I have to keep reminding him that he won't be there to make sure it is done correctly.  We'll be taking pictures :-).   Meanwhile my wedding has become a full fledged family event.  So I knew they were going to have a celebration for my Aunt's 80th birthday the afternoon of the day after the wedding.  But what I was not expecting that my informal Sunday brunch to become the formal celebration for her birth.  I also get company when getting my nails done, but not for the bride to be, to celebrate my cousin's birthday.  So now members of my family are now talking about how great it is to be there to celebrate everyone else and I'm thinking. . . Is it wrong to think my wedding weekend should be about my future husband and me?   Alright back to washing dishes and getting ready for the weekend.  So am I ready and I excited. . . I'm starting to be.

Unforeseen Wedding Crazies and Match Day Results

So,  I see myself as a pretty low key non-stressy bride.   I intend not to be a Bridezilla and have made it so those participating in my wedding have max flexibility.  For example,  I'm not choosing dresses for my party but allowing them to chose their own within a certain color spectrum.  So far my fiance has been way more of a Groomzilla with demands that no sneakers be worn and that certain members of the party should wear hats, and freaking out when little things don't come together.

However, there is something about weddings that make people lose their sense of agency and need to ask the bride about every little thing.  I've been asked everything from what shoes (which I think is reasonable) to how to wrap our wedding present (which is not).   It's like we are Ta'veren and everyone is just waiting for our approval.  More frustrating is the lack (possibly American lack as I've talked to others before) of ability to look things up.  Though the website is chock full of info and we've sent out numerous emails & google docs with information people still ask me.  Even though I've clearly said in other emails that I don't have this information, people still ask me.

 Apparently I was looking so defeated today that everyone seemed to feel the need to console me and tell me not to worry.  All of our service people have been super excited and we're crossing fingers for no rain next Saturday.

Of Match Day I will be heading down to wonderful Asheville, NC to join the Mountain Area Health Education Center MAHEC.  That's right I get to be warm have a beautiful view, southern hospitality, in a hippie liberal refuge. That's right it's NC version of Austin or Yellow Springs on steroids.  :-)  Here's a shot before we found out where were going.

Now we're heading to Shadowbox for a combined Bachelor Bachelorette-esque party.  Can't wait to chill out and have some fun. On other news I gave a successful talk on White Privilege to FreeThought thanks to TWIB NET. Shout out to the chatroom and all my wonderful friends who are helping me remain sane by tying ribbons and gluing corks.  ONE WEEK LEFT.

3, 2, 1 AHHHHHhhhhhhh

So I'm at O'Hare airport on my way to Kansas City for AAFP's cluster, and I stil can't get myself to focus enough to completely read through last year's report.  So apparently I'm blogging

For the last couple weeks I've been having fun saying , "In 4 months I'm graduating, 3 months getting married, 2 months Matching, and going to  Swaziland in 1 month.  Then it all crashed down.  Wait no, not 4 months, 3.  I'm going to Swaziland next month (which is a whole other discussion) . . Ahhh wait no I did again.  I'm going to Swaziland next week.  Actually this time next week I'll be landing in Johannesburg.  So with the realization I'll be basically out of touch with everyone for a month I've been trying to get things squared away.  Like emailing the entire family to RSVP for the wedding since for some reason most of my family didn't.  This is especially important since we have an A, B and C list and people keep wanting to bring guests.  120 people can come to the wedding.  That is it we are against fire codes here people. 

To add to the craziness I have to make sure my schedule is finalized. Work on my talent show entry (since I am the reining champion for the last 3 years).  Make sure my research FINALLY gets through IRB so I can graduate. And oh yeah at some point I should pack for leaving the country.  But wait there are some wedding things that I need to tend to before I go.  And I have to turn in my badge for my Women's Health elective and, and and . . . . 

At least my Rank list is done.

I'm pretty sure I don't look as crazed as I feel since Airport Security haven't dragged me away yet.  Okay.  I'm going to get back to actually preparing for the thing happening later today.  Fingers crossed there are no more delays. 

Wedding in less than 3 months!!

 So my wonderfully DIY wedding seems to becoming less and less so by the week.  So first we were going to do a DIY photobooth.  Then my great friend Jared found me an amazing photographer for a very reasonable price so we had it in the budget to just rent a booth.   Now the dessert buffet that we were going to have Stephan's Dad make for us.  But he said he's not going to be able to take the time off and is willing to just pay for us to have a local Baker make the desserts using our recipes.  On the up side we are still mostly local, and of course there is the center pieces etc that are all DIY as well.   Finalized my wedding hair style today :-) Which will be a slightly messier version of this.  Now I just have to figure out my make-up and underwear and I will be all ready for the wedding . . . well ready look wise.  I still have to do favors and a bunch of other stuff as well.

Meanwhile on the Residency front Stephan and I are going to sit down and figure out what we are putting first 2nd and third tomorrow.  And enter the RANK LIST.  I have my fabulous Excel spreadsheet and residency rater app to help.  Which has me down to a top 3, but figuring out after that may be harder.  Hopefully I'll get it done.

Finished Interviewing and Small Wedding Rant

So I finished interviewing. . . HOORAY.   I had Wright State today and Lancaster on Monday.  My Rank list is going to be difficult.  What's more. . . taxing is all of the kiss up letters - AKA - stay in contact letters I'm going to have to write.  I know my number one (wouldn't you like to know :-p)  but the rest of my list is totally up for grabs.

As for wedding stuff.  There are some details that still left to be in done: Hair, Mehndi, Chuppah, Make-Up still all need to be decided and defined.  Oh How I wish People would RSVP !!!  More than 1/2 the list hasn't yet, and the ones who have want to bring other people.  It's like. . . uhmmmm where are they going to sit?  We are literally against fire codes here.  120  that is all.  But here's the real rant.  When looking up garters for larger thighs why do they always show skinny little thighs in the picture?  I asked for plus size.  Seeing this woman whose thigh is as large as my calf doesn't help me determine if this will fit on my large thighs.  A very poor selling point and just darn annoying.  Yes I know my thighs are large, don't keep rubbing it in!!!

Alright.  Back to writing thank you emails.  They say 4th year is fun. . . I'll let you know when it starts.

Wedding Planning Interrupted by Residency Interviews

So I kinda fell off again.  Mostly due to 3rd year craziness. Here's a hint of what I went through

  Now it's Fall and Interview Season.  I'm interviewing for Family Med. So far I've interviewed at Beth Israel in NY, and Washington in PA.  Next up are Williamsport in PA, Asheville and Hendersonville in NC.  Then I start on my west coast set in northern CA and Seattle.  There's only one I'm waiting to hear back from (and of course it is my number one right now) Santa Rosa (sigh).  Every time I go to the website I find something new I love about the program. Anyway.  The website is done.  Invitations are out and I'm just waiting to get all of the RSVPs back at this point.  Will post how all of that looks.  Through the help of friends we found a brilliant photographer jennifer elizabeth and did some amazing engagement photos.

Now I Just have all the personal stuff to finish.  Find makeup, and work on hair.  Oh yeah and I really need to find who is going to do my mehndi.

The Hair Delema

So this isn't quite in pattern with wedding decisions but is is one of the things I worry most about.

Just Curly  and Free

Anyone who knows me knows about my thick, curly, sometimes unruly hair.  I love my hair.  I have extremely thick and curly natural Black American Hair.

Somewhat contained

Due to how long it takes to blow out my hair (3 hours) and flat iron it (another 2-3 hours)  I only wear my hair straight when one of my friends is willing to do it this, usually at their request, and usually they only do that once. 

Blown Out

Twisted

I have plenty of fun styles I like to wear,  but weddings are supposed to be something great.

Normal day to day look

Out and Free-er in Israel

So now for my rant, inspired by I Do My Do

There are almost NO good ideas for naturally curly wedding hair styles.  Most of the ones I find just show people who have their hair either in a 'Fro, twisted, or straightened for the wedding.  I know there are natural styles out there, why don't people display them more.   Moreover when they do show a curly style it is for someone who has extremely loose curls or very thin hair.  ARGH!

On the upside I have managed to find a great, affordable hairdresser in Dayton who is creative and willing to work with me.  Best believe there will be plenty of pictures posted when we do it properly.

So for anyone who has naturally curly hair and wants wedding hair style ideas, here are some pictures from my idea folder that I've been collecting for the last 3ish years.   I don't own the rights to any of the pictures and hope I'm not violating any laws.

And I challenge Pantene, Carol's Daughter, or any of those hair product places who love to rave about how they can do anyone's hair to try mine  ;-)

Choosing the Date

Solitaire Trillion Sapphire in White Gold.  I know it's hot!

I got engaged April 19th, 2008 to a fabulous man.

Our first decision, as prompted by most wedding books, was to choose a wedding date.  I still had a year left of my masters degree, and was applying to medical school (which would add on another four years). With a bit of consideration we thought it would be great to have the wedding around the same time as the engagement.  We wanted an outdoor wedding so it had to be warmish.  Since we are paying for the wedding ourselves, we also wanted time to save money.  So we finalized the date

April 20th, 2013.

This would allow us plenty of time to plan, bargain hunt, and save money along the way. It also would not interfere with my schooling or his, and there would be less expectation to be Dr. Goodwin instead of Dr. Shegog (more on this later). It was a Saturday, between our two birthdays (February and July) so no build up of present buying; silly but yes I think about these things.

So here are some things to consider when choosing the date

• Who is paying? (saving money takes time)
• What else is going in the next year or so (multiple big life changes take time to prepare for)
• Do you really have time to plan a wedding (the more time you have the less you have to spend on it right now)
• Indoors or Outdoors?  (Big consideration for seasons and dress - check average forecasts for your location)
• What is there to wait for or rush for (Job changes or other big family event may call for a longer time line, Elderly grandparents may cause a rush)
• Fridays and off season is usually cheaper for everything (Photographer, flowers, DJ, name it, it's cheaper)
• Notification timing (If you really want your uncle the surgeon to come, you should give him a years notice or at least 6-8 months)
• When do you want to celebrate your anniversary (Do you really want to overlap on big holidays)
• Beliefs and Custom (Will it require you not living together and in a long distance relationship,  or do you think it is more important that everyone have the right to marry before you tie the knot?)

Still some ask "Why so long an engagement."  When we get married we will have been engaged for 5 years, and together for more than 6.  With finishing my thesis, moving to a new city, starting medical school, the last 3 years have been busy.  But we've had the time and could look for things on non-exam weekends and over breaks.  Now with 2 years to go, most of the big stuff (location, flowers, dress, food, centerpieces, etc) are done, purchased, or decided.  Such a time line has even given us time to grow our own plants for centerpieces and find some incredible deals. 

Though many, MANY of my friends have gotten engaged and married before we will, I still appreciate the time I took to plan.

The day I got engaged I sent this picture to my friends and family

So choose a date,  even a far one.  What's the rush?